Memorable quotes for
"House M.D." (2004) More at IMDb Pro »

Dr. Gregory House: How was the play, Mrs. Lincoln?

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Dr. Gregory House: [to EMT guy who has just tried to give directions] You wanted to be a doctor, maybe you should have buckled down a little more in high school.

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Dr. Gregory House: Nobel invented dynamite. I won't accept his blood money.

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Dr. Gregory House: J'ever notice, how all the self-sacrificing women in history, Joan of Arc, Mother Teresa... can't think of any others, they all die alone? The men, on the other hand, get so much fuzz it's crazy.
Dr. Wilson: It's an unfair world.

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Dr. Gregory House: [hearing serious news about patient on phone] Check it again. I'll be right there.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: What happened?
Dr. Gregory House: Apparently I can save money by switching to another long-distance carrier.

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Dr. Gregory House: Well, there's the fever that Cameron was looking for.
Dr. Cameron: We knew if it was myelitis there had to be an -itis. This must be the infection that set it off.
Dr. Gregory House: Yeah. Except in this universe effect follows cause. I've complained about it, but...

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Dr. Gregory House: The Cripple Boys. We should start a band.

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Dr. Gregory House: Trouble in paradise. 2 o'clock.
Dr. Wilson: Wait, your 2 o'clock or my 2 o'clock?
Dr. Gregory House: Over there!

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Dr. Gregory House: How does someone just start drooling? Chase? Were you wearing your short shorts?

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[repeated line]
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: [to House] You need a lawyer.

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Stacy Warner: You avoid work like the plague, unless it actually is the plague.

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Stacy Warner: God, you are such an idiot.
Dr. Gregory House: Actually, I thought I was more of a jerk.

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Dr. Eric Foreman: [to House] These regulations aren't just here to annoy you.

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[repeated line]
Dr. Gregory House: Everybody lies.

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[repeated line]
Dr. Gregory House: We're missing something.

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Dr. Gregory House: Overall, drug addicts are idiots

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Dr. Cameron: That's not necessarily bad news.
Dr. Eric Foreman: Do you ever watch "Gilligan's Island" reruns and really, really think they're going to get off the island this time?

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Dr. Gregory House: [House has had a confrontation with Stacy's wheelchair-bound husband] How awkward was that? What is he doing here, anyway? He's got physio Tuesdays and Fridays.
Dr. Wilson: He's in group therapy for people coping with disability. He thought about developing a drug addiction, but that would be stupid.
Dr. Gregory House: Hey! You again!

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Dr. Gregory House: [pops his head in] Did you guys get to the point where you realize that the blood didn't come from anywhere?

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