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Eric Cartman: [dressed as an old woman] Why do I have to play the old lady?
Kyle Broflovski: Because old ladies are fat and you are too!

Eric Cartman: Was it fun?
[serving in Viet Nam]
Jimbo Kearn: Sure, Viet Nam was fun, but not going-to-the-circus fun or fly-fishing-in-Montana fun. It was more shoving shards of broken glass up your ass and then sitting in a tub of Tabasco sauce fun.

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