FAQ for
Insatiable (2008) More at IMDb Pro »

That would be an ecumenical matter.

This old lady walks in to the bank of Scotland and wants to deposit some money she has in a bag. The girl behind the counter looks in the bag and seeing around £50,000 says, "You will have to talk to the manager when depositing such a large sum. It's standard procedure."

"OK" says the old lady and after a few seconds the manager comes out and invites her in to his office. The manager is glad to see the old girl depositing her money and starts chatting away while taking the details down.

"It will be much safer here." he says to her.

"Yes," she says "I was so glad to get it but I couldn't wait to put it away safely."

This was curious and he asked her "Did you win a prize or something?"

"I gamble!" she replied looking very happy indeed.

"I wouldn't mind getting a few tips like that on the horses!" said the manager joining in the old ladys fun.

"Oh no" she laughed "I make personal wagers."

"Well a nicer lady couldn't have won the wager." he stated factualy.

"I have a wager for you" she said "if you are interested."

"Well I'm not such a gambler myself" he admitted "but I hope you don't blow it all again foolishly."

The smile had become a more serious look on the old girls face.

"I bet you this fifty thousand pounds that by eight o'clock tomorrow morning your balls will be square as cubes."

"My...?" The manager was fighting to keep a few titters in and had gone a bit red but he couldn't help thinking of the money sitting right here in front of him. Who would know if she just gave him the money? It wouldnt be illegal. "My balls?"

"Your balls." She was quite serious. Oh well, she didn't have to give him anything, he thought, and nobody should be any wiser if she did.

"Your on" he said calming down again but feeling just a little excited inside nonetheless. He probably woudn't even see her again but it would make a great story sometime. He was finished the deposit details now and stuck out his hand to her with a genuine toothy smile.

"Tomorrow morning then" she said, shaking his hand hand and was gone almost as quickly as that.

"Bye!" he said, shaking his head at the back of her.

There was no doubting it. This crazy little old lady really, really meant it. He had never been in such a crazy situation and subconsciously he was imagining what a man might do with such a large sum of money for nothing. He got through his shift as normal but this crazy little old lady was in his head all day. Would she really be in tomorrow to see if his balls were square or what? Crazy. Well, he soon forgot. He went for a nice bite to eat and a couple of lovely bottles of wine with his fiancee. She wasn't staying with him this night so he dropped her off and after a good shower he hit the sack and slept soundly all night. The manager almost had a start when he woke up and remembered the old lady. It was still crazy and amusing. He couldn't help checking his balls while getting ready for work. Definitely not square, he laughed to himself, and at ten minutes to eight he was sure that time was up. So, he got in to work at about a quarter to nine and was busying away in the office by nine o'clock when his secretary buzzed him.

"We have a man and a lady to see you Bob. I don't have any appointments but she says you are expecting them."

"Of course." He was a bit flustered at this. A man? Well he was sure it was her and he could just insist that she kept the money. "Send them right in, Penny."

In walked the little lady with a very smartly dressed man indeed.

"I have brought my solicitor with me so there can be no mistakes." she told him.

"There's really no need" he started to feel a little sorry for her now "obviously it was just a little joke."

"Nonsense!" she exclaimed. "Come on. Let's see now shall we? I have the solicitor here now so there is no backing out. Open up the pants!"

This was very embarrasing and worst of all he felt compelled to open them. So he did. He stood up, opening his belt and lowered him trousers and shorts enough to see. The sooner this was done the better.

"Only one way to be sure!" she told him and was already reaching out her hand to see. The manager turned his head away slightly while she gave him a good check.

The manager opened his mouth to tell her to forget about the money but his jaw hung open when he saw the solicitor had started banging his head against the wall.

"Don't worry about him," the little lady was laughing happily and looking at the solicitor now, "I bet him one hundred thousand pounds last night that I would walk in here at nine o'clock this morning and have the manager by the balls!" she cried almost splitting at the sides. "Here is your fifty!" she said handing a bag to him without even looking away from the solicitor.

This is a clever old lady.

Fred from France